i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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