so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
