Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
