She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
