oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
