I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
