Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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