You're so nebulous sometimes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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