yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
