I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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