thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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