Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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