i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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