the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It's Friday. Sex?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
