Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
