I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
