i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
