***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
