did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
