I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
