This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I am available for nakedness
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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