I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Life is so much better after having sex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
