You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
