can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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