glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
