to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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