I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
