no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Watching her eat just hurts me
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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