i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
