just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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