We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
