Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
