Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
