girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
