I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
