Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Even my vagina gasped.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
