Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
