how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
