coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize
