Pappa wants mamma naked
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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