dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just high enough for therapy.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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