she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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