hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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