I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
