Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
