Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
