I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
