I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
