I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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