i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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