So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
