I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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