Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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