her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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