hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
