Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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