I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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