we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
