She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We got so high we made milksteak
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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