I'm sorry my penis didn't work
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize