why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
