no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
