I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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