Sponge bath it is.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
