walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she peed on how many people?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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