dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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